


You're A Conundrum And I'm A Paradox

by teyteycharisse



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Child!Lena, Childhood Friends, F/F, but not enough to trigger something, child!Kara, i think, kinda vignette style, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 19:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teyteycharisse/pseuds/teyteycharisse
Summary: Lena doesn't understand her new life.She doesn't understand her new family.And most of all, she doesn't understand Kara Danvers.But maybe– eventually, she'll learn to.HopefullyOrChildhood friends AU





	You're A Conundrum And I'm A Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited draft of this is posted on my tumblr @bm-binger . Just putting that out there (:

Lena knows a lot of rules. Rules she never had to follow before.

Like, she is not to disturb her adoptive parents when they are in their respective home offices, unless summoned.

She is not to knock in their room nor ask for a bedtime story when she can't sleep and craving the familial intimacy of a parent.

She is not to let her forearms or elbows touch the dinner table nor is she not to finish her meal.

She is not to  _ mention  _ her Mom in front of Lillian or Lionel lest she wants another day spent starving.

She is to make herself scarce at all times unless called upon.

She is not allowed to play in the big, vast, living room lest Lillian sees her and punish her for simply _existing._

She is not to play in the big  _ big  _ yard outside the Manor lest she get her expensive clothes dirty.

She is not allowed to be  _ just a kid _ . Because being a Luthor upholds certain expectations her six-year-old self is forced to uptake.

She owes it to this family.

She owes this _ privilege _ to the Luthors.

So  _ the least she can do _ is follow these set of rules.

Lena knows all these. Lena follows these. Because she'd learned early on the consequences of breaking just one.

She can still vividly remember the pretty purples, blues, and greens that littered her arms and legs–they've hurt a lot.

She doesn't want those colors marring her skin again.

So she followed these rules devotedly.

Rules circled her life, rules became the rock keeping her steady– pushing her to survive.

Hence why the Danvers’ became a conundrum to her.

Because ever since meeting Kara, she hasn't seen the girl without dirt coating her clothes. Grass stains clinging to her knees. Skin marred with mud. And head always a mess of blonde hair.

She doesn't understand how Eliza nor Jeremiah haven't punished Kara yet whenever she goes home in that state.

She doesn't understand how Kara's always  _ full  _ and  _ hungry  _ at the same time.

She doesn't understand how Kara can casually ask Eliza for a snack, often including Lena with a riveted:  _ “Lena and I want a chicken sandwich, please Eliza? Oh! And Lena likes those– those icky greens you always make me eat for dinner!” _

She doesn't understand Eliza's warmth and Kara's stories of how she spent the night in her adoptive parents’ room because she had a nightmare and she doesn't want to disturb Alex anymore than she had.

She doesn't understand Jeremiah's soft smiles whenever she knocks at the Danvers’ doorstep.

She doesn't understand the couple's looks whenever Lena informs them she haven't eaten the whole day yet because the Luthors deemed it unacceptable to feed her after embarrassing them with her panic attack during one of their lavish galas.

She doesn't understand Alex's protectiveness and fierce loyalty– because Lex never gave her a second of his time.

She doesn't understand how Kara and Alex can freely play in their living room or backyard, often making a mess, often coming home with dirt in their palms and gashes on their knees, often making such a mess that Lillian would've burst a vein at.

She doesn't understand their  _ loudness  _ and  _ overjoyed  _ laughs– evening spent with smiles, lunches spent with teasing banters, breakfast spent with light.

She also doesn't understand the warmth surrounding the family– their bond, their smiles, their kindness, their genuineness.

She doesn't understand how the Luthors can be so different from the Danverses.

Though, she had a faint memory of fond smiles– warm laughter– kind gray-green eyes– and soft, adoring touches conveying a mother's love.

Memories– memories that are quickly fading and being replaced by her cold present.

She doesn't understand Kara and she doesn't understand how the girl exudes happiness all the time.

But the biggest confusion of all, is:

She doesn't understand  _ why _ Kara chose to be her friend.

And seeing Kara now, blonde hair falling out of its intricate braid– blue eyes sparkling and crinkling– skin alive under the sun– and smile exuberant– hand outstretched and lips forming the words:

“Come on, Lena! It'll be fun!”

Lena still doesn't understand how someone so light, so good, so– so  _ positive  _ can ever think of befriending her.

But Lena accepted the hand.

Lena smiled back just as happily.

Lena let her green eyes shine under the warm sunlight.

Lena let her skin be stained with grass.

Lena let Kara help her climb the massive tree.

Lena let the bark scratch at her expensive clothes.

Lena let herself  _ free. _

For the first time since being adopted by the Luthors, Lena is happy.

And it has a lot to do with the girl sitting next to her– with her blue eyes, gentle smile, and understanding warmth,

Lena is content.

Consequences for her actions and worry for Lillian's berating shedded and left behind when she stepped out of the Manor's doorstep.

Because she's here, right now, under the shade of the canopy, sitting next to her best friend, and enjoying the present.

Lena doesn't understand Kara.

And she thinks she never will.

But she can learn to understand these feelings– happiness, warmth, contentment, and love.

And twenty years from now, Lena will look back and realize just how much she'd been disarmed by the sight of blue eyes shining with equal adoration and warmth.

But for now, they're two best friends sitting on a sturdy tree branch, six and nine year olds enjoying the humid beginnings of summer, unbeknownst to the future laying ahead.

Ignorant of the pain waiting for them.

Naive of the suffering they will feel.

Not privy to the heaviness they will eventually shoulder.

Blissfully unaware of the possible future of separation, and eventually, getting back  _ together  _ and finally cherishing the feeling of normalcy.

For now, they're two kids–kids who only got acquainted, kids who are still basking in the joy of simply having a friend.

Not asking for more.

Not asking for much.

Not asking for something deep.

Just asking for  _ this. _

Just asking for  _ now. _

And revelling in each other's presence.

And looking forward for more playdates.


End file.
